Mediation for couples in California.

In mediation, both of you work with one neutral mediator to reach your own agreement. I do not take sides and I do not make decisions for you. My role is to help you talk, understand your options and find terms you can both live with.

Many couples find mediation calmer and less costly than fighting it out, and it keeps the decisions in your hands.

I am a Kids-First™ Certified Mediator. That means the wellbeing of your children stays at the center of every conversation, from parenting schedules to how you will make decisions together in the years ahead.

I also completed the 40-Hour Family and Divorce Mediation Training with Mosten Mediation Training and the Divorce and Family Mediation Course at Martha's Vineyard Mediation Center.

For parents who are already separated or divorced and need to make new decisions about their children. As children grow, parenting plans often need to change: a new school, a move, changing work schedules, holidays and travel, a new partner, or how you share costs for activities and college.

We work through these decisions together, with your children's wellbeing at the center, and I put what you agree in writing. If you have a court order, each of you should have your own attorney review any changes, since they may need to be filed with the court.

Not every couple who comes to mediation is ending their marriage. Marital mediation is for couples who want to stay married and need help working through money, parenting or other issues that keep coming up.

We work through them together so you can reach decisions you can both live with, and put them in writing if that helps.

Before you marry, mediation gives you a calm place to talk through how you will handle money and life together: budgets, saving, separate and shared money, how you will plan for the future and who does what at home.

What you decide can become the basis of a premarital agreement. California has specific rules for premarital agreements, so each of you should have your own attorney review the final agreement before you sign it.

I run California guideline child support and temporary spousal support calculations in XSpouse, support software certified by the Judicial Council of California and used by many California family courts. In mediation, you both see the same numbers at the same time, so you can talk about support with real figures in front of you.

These calculations are estimates based on the information you provide. They are not legal advice, and a judge can order a different amount. Long-term spousal support is not set by a formula, so for that the calculation is one starting point for your conversation.

I am not an attorney and I do not give legal advice. Each of you can, and should, consult your own attorney before and during mediation, and have them review any agreement before you sign it.

This is an example of how a divorce mediation with children might go, to give you an idea of what to expect. Every mediation is different, and we shape the steps around your family as we go. Co-parenting, marital and pre-marital mediation follow a shorter version of the same path. All sessions take place on Zoom, so you can join from home or wherever you feel most comfortable.

1. Step 1

   A free 30-minute consultation

   We talk about where you are, how mediation works, whether it fits your situation and how fees work. You are welcome and encouraged to join together.

2. Step 2

   Getting started

   You each receive a welcome packet and fill out a confidential intake form on your own. I then meet with each of you individually to review the Mediation Agreement and get to know each of you separately. You sign the agreement electronically.

3. Step 3

   Your first joint session

   Up to 90 minutes. Each of you shares what matters most to you, we agree on how we will work together and we set the agenda.

4. Step 4

   Joint working sessions on parenting

   Up to 90 minutes each. We start with your children: parenting schedules, holidays and how you will make decisions together. We look at your options before you choose, and you set the pace.

5. Step 5

   Financial disclosure

   You each gather the information for the FL-150 Income and Expense Declaration and the FL-142 Schedule of Assets and Debts. You can do this on your own, or I can help either or both of you gather it. I explain what the forms ask for so our sessions can focus on your decisions.

6. Step 6

   Joint working sessions on property, debts and support

   Up to 90 minutes each. We take each topic one at a time. We can also add individual sessions with each of you if that would help, and we decide that together as we go.

7. Step 7

   Your agreement

   I put your decisions in writing in a Memorandum of Understanding so you can take them to the next step of finalizing your divorce.

When you reach agreement, I write up your decisions in a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). It covers what you agreed about parenting, property, debts and support, in plain language.

Each of you should have your own attorney review the MOU before you sign anything final. To finish your divorce, a Legal Document Assistant I work with can prepare your Marital Settlement Agreement and court forms, or your attorneys can.

If you are in mediation with someone else and would like support preparing for it, I offer mediation preparation for one person. Learn about mediation preparation

Every situation is different, so fees are discussed during a free consultation.